About My Life ! :)

I am a ordinary girl but my life is full of pains and problems. I wish to have a more happy life but it just can’t. Every night before I sleep I will look up to the sky and pray to the god wish will let me have what I wanted. I not means that I want god to give me all those expensive things or any thing that need money to buy. I don’t want all those things. I just want a happy family and stop letting people to play me. I don’t want to be a toy I feel that’s very suffer. I had suffered for so long. Why couldn’t the god let me have happiness in my life. Yes, I do smile but that always for a short while. After that my sadness will come again. I can say I rather die than having all those sadness. I know that everyone will think that’s crazy but who cares? I only wish to have a happy life maybe I die I will be more happy? Sometimes I seriously don’t know why lots of people wanted to treat me as a toy. I feel that’s enough for treating me as a toy. I feel that’s more suffering. Although I have lots of friends but I don’t know are they really using their true heart to treat me. Just like Kenneth I have been a long time with him. I feel so happy be with him but he always used his free time to play games. I feel like playing games are wasting time even I play games everyday too but he can use up lots of times of playing. I don’t know as what they said Kenneth are a playboy I don’t know that’s true or that’s fake. I only know he is a person that didn’t try then give up easily. In everyone’s life they shouldn’t be a word ‘give up’ cause nothing is impossible. If you willing to try the god will give you miracle .I think quite lots of people don’t believe to miracle but I can tell everyone that will be a miracle but if you don’t even try then you give up. That will be a stupid things that everyone ever do. I hate people who like to lie or who like to deny the truth. I wouldn’t ever do that if I ever do that’s mean something will happen on me. People who understand me will not think that I am a person who lie. Even my family they don’t really understand me. Maybe I can say the most understand me is mushroom but that’s last time now I don’t think anyone understand me. Whoever that get mushroom will be a very lucky girl he is really a good man he will really care so much of his girlfriend. I can say I hate in a relationship right now. I only want to be single. Single can make a people happier don’t need to care about others feeling. In my future my life I wouldn’t think about anything about relationship I will only pay full attention on my studies. I will only think all those relationship when I am in college. I want to have all friends in next 5years I only want concentrate on my studies and my friends. I don’t want any relationship happen in my life next 5years. I will ignore all those things. What I will do is all studies. I wouldn’t care all those people who abandon me. If my friends bully me I will only keep quiet let them bully. I will not tell anyone. I know now my friends started comes and find me cause I broke with Kenneth. She think that no one can help me anymore. So, she started to insult me, torture me and even hit me or bully me. I hate outing with her. She will always use me to help her do things. Next year will also be a suffer years without everyone to help. She will bully me again. She will use me to friend all those famous people again. I hope the god can lets me go since everyone think I am only a toy, everyone abandon me. Then what fault I face them to lets everyone play me? I willing to have a ordinary life but god just can’t give it to me. So, I rather god lets me go then have lots of torturing. My life is really suffer. I am tired of facing all those. How old am i? Why should I get all those sadness so early? That aren’t fair I always make people happy I always wish people happy then i am fine with everything, but now it’s hard for me. I found that this 13years I always make people happy but at the end what I get is always have to fake happy in front of everyone. I think everyone will be very happy if I get to go hell. I hope I can lost all my memories but that’s impossible. So, I will also pray to the god to let me disappear in front of everyone. Then everyone will be smiling, I also will be happy. It will be a happy ending if I get to hell.

Woah i wanna thanks to rachel's cousin for helping me to edit my ugly blog :) i am seriously feel bored and holidays is full of tuition. I WANNA WANNA WANNA SKYPE with my friends but i just cant cause my sister don't let me use the laptop and the comp i am using now not even have a webcam. :( i missed all my friends and my lazy bum bum!!!! :) i missed when we are all playing and having fun.. i remembered the time we laughed,we play,we joke and our crazyness!!!!!! IVY!! my craziest friend :) i gave you all my friends a 100% for making me smile laugh and fun!!!! Without you all i will also without a smile :( i miss you all!! i hope i will get to see you all soon :) i seriously miss all the fun!!! :)